This is a good questions, as I am often asked this. Sometimes its purely down to the customer’s choice and the type of decking and whether its been oiled or not.
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For softwood I like to go for a sandstone finish, and oiling the deck yearly, to make it look new, not silver.
Have you ever experienced issues with the decking expanding so the decking elevation has increased over the paving thus creating a nasty lip of anything from 3 to 7mm (for example) and then in the warmer weather when the boards move the opposite way, the decking is then perhaps lower than the paving.
I havent actually, as we usually do not but the paving directly to the decking. We often leave a small amount of lip and under this a shingle base for expansion, which is covered by the decking and is hidden; to the edge of the paving.